Just what are these people up to?
It has been over 45 years since a national magazine (National Lampoon 1973) exploded the truth about the Dutch: sneaky insidious people bent on world domination. They’re weakening our national resolve, planning to take over our country once our people are soft from their chocolates and beer!. And too many Americans just don’t KNOW about these sneaky Gouda-gobbling gremlins!
Don’t believe it? See this photo of Lee Harvey Oswald?
Do you recognize Oswald’s shoes? Wooden. The mark of a low-country cheese chomper: Larch loafers. Maple moccasins. Oak oxfords. Americans: NEVER trust anyone whose shoes need to be varnished!
Leading scholars of the insidious Dutch plots believe that “Oswald’s” real name was Leuvenhook Oswaalt. He was sent by the insidious Dutch to destabilize the country by making schoolbook depository employees wear clumsy wooden shoes. We think they planned to dig canals and build their “dykes” all over the Gulf Coast! But Oswald fell into a typical Dutch rage when he ran out of Heinecken, and he began firing out the window, hitting JFK!
When the sneaky Dutch aren’t busy planning world domination (see The Protocols of the Elders of Holland), they run around building windmills all the hell over! Nobody knows what those stupid windmills are for–meth labs?
And the photo above–SEE? Some insidious Dutchman got on his neighborhood’s HOA Board and said, “Oh, let mee builten joost ONE leetle vindmill!” And THIS is what happened! And they want to build those windmills ALL OVER the USA!
Have you heard of “Dutch Elm Disease?” Why do these people want to kill all our elm trees? What is it about elm trees that they hate so much?
Why do they go around sawing kitchen doors in half? There MUST be some horrible secret behind it!
And how in the world can they wear those stupid wooden shoes? And WHY?
Come ON, America, it’s time to throw back the tide of these Heinecken hellhounds and make America PURE again! *NO DUTCH* We have to keep them out, to keep our elm trees and kitchen doors the way good hardworking Americans WANT them! We need to build a wall in the Atlantic ocean and make the DUTCH pay for it!
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